Garmin-Cervelo take the TTT as Thor Thunders to Yellow; Today the Sprinters Get it on in Redon July 4, 2011

Bonjour mes amis de velo.

Yesterday’s team time trial saw Team ‘always the bridesmaid but never the bride’ Garmin-Cervelo finally make it to the TdF altar as they powered to the slimmest of victories over rivals Leopard-Trek, Sky, BMC and HTC-High Road on the pancake-flat 23km course in Les Esarts. The US outfit covered the course in 24 minutes and 48 seconds at an average speed of 55.6kmph which is about the same as Atomic Saddles’ Honda deux chevaux on a good day with a tailwind.  As Atomic Saddles predicted, bébé!

David Millar, currently  lying in second place overall, spoke to the  Grauniad wot wrote: “Emotionally and physically, David Millar has been through the mill in his chequered 14-year cycling career and this team time trial was no exception. On his bike, he “suffered like a pig”. The outcome was something new for him: shared joy when his Garmin-Cervélo team took their first Tour stage win, after a host of near-misses.

They were seeded midway down the field (Not be me, alors! Zut! Egad Moriarty! etc – AS), and had a long wait before the win was confirmed, which meant, said the Scot, the day felt unlike any other win in his career, which has included three solo stage wins in the Tour.

“It’s not like winning an individual time trial, when you go through all the emotions on your own. This was a team experience, the tension was high, emotions were running. I love it. I’ve won plenty of time trials in my career but this was a whole different ball-game. (What did I say just hier soir, mes amis? did I not write ‘today’s TTT is a whole different kettle of pommes de terre.’? Whatever that means -Ed).

Thus World Champion Thor Hushovd wears yellow. It was incongruous seeing the giant Norwegian sprinter squeezed into a polka dot King of the Mountains jersey yesterday, a garment usually reserved for pipe-cleaner thin stick-insect lokalike grimpeurs.  I wonder if his mum, Flora Hushovd, had to knit it for him specially?

Cadel Evans’s BMC team, the Schleck brothers’ Leopard-Trek squad, and those splendid British chappies of Sky Procycling gave the Garmin boys a run for their yankee dollar yesterday. Rod Stewart Wiggins (as Mrs Saddles has christened him), and the flying Welsh youth Geraint Thomas looked impressive in huge turns on the front of the Sky Procycling train. The Boyo from the Valleys who carries daffodils with him at all times and sings rugby songs on the team bus was rewarded with the white jersey for his pains (I for one would be delighted to see him retain it all the way to Paris, but I think he must surely get sunk by Monsieur Gesink). had the Skyboys flown just a wee bit faster, Geraint (below) would  have woken up this morning as the first Welshman ever to wear the Maillot Jaune.

Also missing out on yellow by the smallest of margins was the Cadel guy, BMC’s Monsieur Evans, though his third place in the GC will be some consolation. One gets the feeling that if Evans doesn’t win it this year, he might as well go back to his former trade as cornflake quality controller in Gooliebongee, NSW. If the man with ‘the personality of an outback dunny’ doesn’t parlay his minute+ advantage over the Cobra into victory this time, one senses he never will. (He has twice stood on the second step of the podium in Paris – losing to the Cobra in 2007 by a mere 23 seconds, and by 58 seconds to Carlos Sastre in 2008).

Though Atomic never misses the opportunity to have an anti-Cavendish rant (readers will not be disappointed; see below), I must confess to feeling a little sorry for HTC- High Road and Bernie Eisel. It was a shame to see the Austrian sliding down the road arse first after he lost a wheel on a corner just several meters into the course – a shame not only because BE is one of the most personable blokes in the Peleton, but also because for the briefest of moments Atomic Saddles thought it was Mark Cavendish who was being treated to an asphalt enema. Herr Eisel was being treated to a nasty case of shadenfreude having predicted his own crash (and others’) prior to the stage. From Cycling News:

Did Bernie psych himself out?

Bernhard Eisel issued a public apology to his HTC-Highroad teammates after he crashed during Sunday’s team time trial, a day which the Austrian road captain described as “the worst day” of his career. “The boys did a great ride!” he said on his facebook page. “They didn’t expect too much from me today, I just had to stay upright and help them a lil, but I crashed in the first real corner and nearly tooked [sic] out 3 teammates. The team lost because of me today and I didn’t hear any bad word from them. Thanks boys, but I know that I fu…. it up! No excuses, it was my fault!” The statement was all the more pertinent after Australian broadcaster SBS showed footage of the HTC-Highroad team having what could almost be described as a heated argument, over what to do if Eisel were to crash as he was suggesting. Mark Cavendish and Matt Goss differed in their opinion over whether to attempt to hold Eisel up, with Mark Renshaw asserting it was best just not to crash in the first place.

Quel surprise, Cavendish vociferously expressing an opinion (I would like to see the no-nonsense Tasmanian Matt Goss clock him one).

Today’s 198km stage from Olonne-sur-Mer to Redon is tailor-made for the fast men, and has Blabbermouth written all over it. Indeed it is one of the stages ‘targeted’ by the Manxman in his pursuit of the Green Jersey. However, all may not be well in the Cavendish universe. He was outwitted (does outwitting a half-wit really count, AS wonders?) in the intermediate sprint on Saturday by Tyler Farrar, and though in the brilliant Mark Renshaw he undoubtedly has the best lead-out man in the business, Cav rivals –Petacchi, Boonen, Farrar – are no pushovers. Farrar will be catapulted towards the chequered flag by the mighty Norwegian in yellow. Watch out too for the new Yorkshireman sur le block, Sky’s appropriately monickered Ben Swift (pictured here).

BTW, If anyone doubts the Flying Dolt’s asinine nature, witness Cavendish’s cultured and critical evaluation of Philippe Gilbert’s Stage 1 victory, recorded for posterity on Twitter: “Just saw todays last kilometre. Gilbert humbled everyone with the equivalence of pulling down his pants to reveal a 13 incher. #YIKES”.

Classy.

And anyway, any fule kno that the most spectacular downtube in the Peleton must belong Paolo Longo Borghini.

Et finalement mes amis, may I recommend Nicolas Roche’s writing from the Tour that runs daily in the  Irish Independent. Roche may not be the cycling giant that his father was, but like his dad he is clearly a top feller, and his insider writing often throws up some gems. It is his birthday today – Bonne fête, Nico.

Overall standings

1) Thor Hushovd (Norway/Garmin) 5hr 06min 25sec

2) David Millar (Britain/Garmin) same time

3) Cadel Evans (Australia/BMC Racing) +1sec

4) Geraint Thomas (Britain/Team Sky) +4

5) Linus Gerdemann (Germany/Leopard)

6) Frank Schleck (Luxembourg/Leopard)

7) Fabian Cancellara (Switzerland/Leopard)

8) Edvald Boasson Hagen (Norway/Team Sky)

9) Manuel Quinziato (Italy/BMC Racing)

10) Andy Schleck (Luxembourg/Leopard)

Atomic Saddles’ prediction for today’s stage. Grudgingly:

1 Cavendish (Punter#6: Charlie R)

2 Petacchi (Punter#4: Mitsumi S)

3 Farrar (Punter#17: Joe B)

BTW, sorry the updates are taking so long to put up. Atomic is a bit busy these days.