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Bonjour mes amis! I am un peu en retard, but it is better than being un Retard, non? July 7, 2012

Posted by John Frederick Ashburne in Tour de France 2012.
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Sorry it has taken so long, but that awful thing known as La Vie Hebdomadaire has been getting in the way of my TdF-ing. Well, bougre that, and off we go. I was a tad concerned if we could get enough punters together this year, at such short notice, and in the wake of Euro 2012 footie sweepstakes fatigue. I need not have fretted. My half of the trans-global sweepie sold out in about, er, 4 minutes. Glad to know there are so many amis sypatiques out there. Joe B is gathering the bretheren in England as I type, and we can expect to kick off with our small bagatelle on the morrow.

This is how I have constructed the sweepstakes this time around.

Every punter gets a star; a dark horse; two trusted lieutenants; and five or so warriors-in-the-saddle. I have created a system (see above pic) that uses random numeric sequence generating software to try and ensure that every punter has an equal shot at winning a bottle of cheap rotgut. FYI, I used a more primitive system for the recent Euro football and… it failed dismally. I was stuffed thanks to two favourites exiting early (France and Holland). Which simply serves to remind that it is all a bit of a bleedin’ lottery, innit mate?

There will be no cash prizes this time, just wine. Lots of it, and of a quality hitherto unimagined. Say no more. I need to consult with my Man Overseas, monsieur Banerjee, on how precisely we are going to rig, er, I mean construct the prize formats but I am thinking of trying to be even more egalitarian/Maoist than usual. That means no Cavendish-style sprinter green jersey concentration of winnings this year. I wish to award domestiques, and super-domestiques this time. I am even so passionate/biased as to have considered awarding a bottle of Cotes du Stiquey-riche Luberon ’55 to the oldest rider to complete the course. (Hint: he’s likely to be German. Terrifying. God-like. The road is scared of him). Any creative prize category suggestions highly welcomed.

Anyway. Here are the randomly generated Punter allotments. Later today you’ll know who got whom.

Just fyi, the huge crash on Stage 6 played havoc with the GC standings, and my seedings, so I rejigged them this morning to be as fair as possible.

Punter A

● John A

Your Star Rider:

● Philippe Gilbert (BMC) S40

Your Dark Horse:

● David Moncoutie (COF) S63 FRA

Your Trusty Lieutenants:

● Richie Porte (Sky) S196

● Pierrick Federigo (FDJ) S77 FRA

Your Warriors in the Saddle:

● Rafael Valls (Vacansoleil) S99

● Stuart O’Grady (ORI-GRE) S128

● Mikael Cherel (AG2R) S141 FRA

● Yuriy Krivtsov (Lampre) S169

Your Favoured Team:

● FDJ BigMat

Punter B

● Mike D

Your Star Rider:

● Andre Greipel (Lotto) S6

Your Dark Horse:

● Robert Gesink (RABO) S28

Your Trusty Lieutenants:

● Johnny Hoogerland (Vacansoleil) S68

● Kevin de Weert (Omega) S83

Your Warriors in the Saddle:

● Marcus Burghardt (BMC) S113

● Yann Huguet (Argos) S115 FRA

● Nicolas Edet (COF) S151 FRA

● Marco Marzano (Lampre) S170

● Pieter Weening (ORI-GRE) S195

Your Favoured Team:

● Saur Sojasun

—————————————————————————-

Punter C

● Cathy

Your Star Rider:

● Alessandro Petacchi (Lampre) S18

Your Dark Horse:

● Tejay van Garderen (BMC) S31

Your Trusty Lieutenants:

● Yaroslav Popovych (RNT) S67

● Matthew Lloyd (Lampre) S81

Your Warriors in the Saddle:

● Jimmy Engoulvent (Saur) S101 FRA

● Dries Devenyns (Omega) S133

● Roy Curvers (Argos) S158

● Vladimir Gusev (KAT) S166

● Rob Ruigh (Vacansoleil) S193

Your Favoured Team:

● Garmin-Barracuda

—————————————————————————-

Punter D

● Riki’s Tim

Your Star Rider:

● Jurgen Van den Broeck (Lotto) S12

Your Dark Horse:

● Rui Costa (Movistar) S32

Your Trusty Lieutenants:

● Thibaut Pinot (FDJ) S60 FRA

● Remy di Gregorio (COF) S73 FRA

Your Warriors in the Saddle:

● Jurgen Roelands (Lotto) S109

● Anders Lund (SAXO) S130

● Jan Ghyselinck (COF) S153

● Francis de Greef (Lotto) S177

● Daryl Impey (ORI-GRE) S185

Your Favoured Team:

● Europcar

—————————————————————————-

Punter E

● Colin D

Your Star Rider:

● Denis Menchov (KAT) S4

Your Dark Horse:

● Steven Krujswijk (RABO) S37

Your Trusty Lieutenants:

● Kenny van Hummel (Vacansoleil) S47

● Romain Zingle (COF) S74

Your Warriors in the Saddle:

● Maxim Iglinskiy (Astana) S93

● Maxime Bouet (AG2R) S116 FRA

● Patrick Gretsch (ARGO) S156

● Jelle Vanendert (Lotto) S181

Your Favoured Team:

● Lampre

—————————————————————————-

Punter F

● Joe B

Your Star Rider:

● Edvald Boasson Hagen (SKY) S9

Your Dark Horse:

● Jerome Pineau (Omega) S56 FRA

Your Trusty Lieutenants:

● David Millar (GAR) S78

● Anthony Roux (FDJ) S95 FRA

Your Warriors in the Saddle:

● Andriy Grivko (Astana) S124

● Fredrik Kessiakov (Astana) S160

● Yohann Gene (Europcar) S163 FRA

● Ruben Plaza (Movistar) S182

Your Favoured Team:

● Katusha

—————————————————————————-

Punter G

● Topher W

Your Star Rider:

● Cadel Evans (BMC) S2

Your Dark Horse:

● Nicolas Roche (AG2R) S48

Your Trusty Lieutenants:

● Bert Grabsch (Omega) S88

● Christian Knees (SKY) S103

Your Warriors in the Saddle:

● Christian Knees (SKY) S103

● Yauheni Hutarovich (FDJ) S120

● Jorge Soto Azanza (EUSK) S149

● Giovanni Bernaudeau (Europcar) S162 FRA

Your Favoured Team:

● Saxo Bank

—————————————————————————-

Punter H

● Wil F

Your Star Rider:

● Bradley Wiggins (SKY) S1

Your Dark Horse:

● Levi Leipheimer (Omega) S36

Your Trusty Lieutenants:

● Christophe Kern (Europcar) S51

● Brett Lancaster (ORI-GRE) S85

Your Warriors in the Saddle:

● Baden Cooke (ORI-GRE) S106

● Arthur Vichot (FDJ) S121 FRA

● Biel Kadri (AG2R) S143 FRA

● Kristijan Koren (Liquigas) S173

Your Favoured Team:

● Argos-Shimano

—————————————————————————-

Punter I

● Gail

Your Star Rider:

● Samuel Sanchez (EUSK) S14

Your Dark Horse:

● Chris Horner (RNT) S35

Your Trusty Lieutenants:

● Samuel Dumoulin (COF) S61 FRA

● David Zabriskie (GAR) S79

Your Warriors in the Saddle:

● Luis Leon Sanchez (RABO) S105

● Matthieu Ladagnou (FDJ) S150 FRA

● Aliaksandr Kuchynski (KAT) S168

●Laurens ten Dam (RABO) S186

Your Favoured Team:

● Omega Pharma Quick Step

—————————————————————————-

Punter J

● Sasha A

Your Star Rider:

● Tyler Farrar (GAR) S16

Your Dark Horse:

● Christian Vande Velde (GAR) S41

Your Trusty Lieutenants:

● Jerome Coppell (Saur) S46 FRA

● Sergio Paulinho (SAXO) S91

Your Warriors in the Saddle:

● Jens Voigt (RNT) S104

● Pablo Perez Urtasun (EUSK) S127

● Gorka Izagirre (EUSK) S148

● Adam Hansen (Lotto) S179

● Guillaume Levarlet (Saur) S189 FRA

Your Favoured Team:

● BMC Racing

—————————————————————————-

Punter K

● DJ

Your Star Rider:

● Jani Brajkovic (Astana) S21

Your Dark Horse:

● Mark Renshaw (RABO) S23

Your Trusty Lieutenants:

●Michael Rogers (SKY) S55

● Lars Bak (Lotto) S64

Your Warriors in the Saddle:

● Dimitry Fofonov (Astana) S71

● Ruben Perez (EUSK) S76

● Bram Tankink (RABO) S110

● Cyril Gautier (Europcar) S125 FRA

● Marco Marcato (Vacansoleil) S139

Your Favoured Team:

● RadioShack Nissan Trek

—————————————————————————-

Punter L

● Tomas S

Your Star Rider:

● Chris Froome (SKY) S17

Your Dark Horse:

● Peter Vellits (Omega) S26

Your Trusty Lieutenants:

● Tom Veelers (ARGOS) S49

● Vladimir Karpets (Movistar) S87

Your Warriors in the Saddle:

● Yukiya Arashiro (Europcar) S118

● Jean-Christophe Peraud (AG2R) S144 FRA

● Robert Kiserlovski (Astana) S161

● Juan Jose Haedo (SAXO) S190

Your Favoured Team:

● Astana

—————————————————————————-

Punter M

● Sanborn B

Your Star Rider:

● Andreas Kloden (RNT) S30

Your Dark Horse:

● Rein Taaramae (COF) S38

Your Trusty Lieutenants:

● Christophe Riblon (AG2R) S59 FRA

Your Warriors in the Saddle:

● Luca Paolini (KAT) S97

● Borut Bozic (Astana) S117

● Michael Schar (BMC) S147

● Giampaolo Caruso (KAT) S165

● Jean-Marc Marino (Saur) S187 FRA

Your Favoured Team:

● Vacansoleil-DCM

—————————————————————————-

Punter N

● Kevin R

Your Star Rider:

● Dan Martin (GAR) S20

Your Dark Horse:

● Steve Cummings (BMC) S43

Your Trusty Lieutenants:

● Egoi Martinez (EUSK) S58

● Juanjo Cobo (Movistar) S82

Your Warriors in the Saddle:

● Daniel Oss (Liquigas) S98

● Sebastian Langeveld (ORI-GRE) S137

● Sebastien Hinault (AG2R) S145

● Davide Malacarne (Europcar) S164 FRA

● Alessandro Vanotti (Liquigas) S174

Your Favoured Team:

● Rabobank

—————————————————————————-

Punter O

● Riki

Your Star Rider:

● Pierre Rolland (Europcar) S19 FRA

Your Dark Horse:

● Michele Scarponi (Lampre) S34

Your Trusty Lieutenants:

● Michael Albassini (ORI-GRE) S54

● Tony Gallopin (RNT) S69 FRA

Your Warriors in the Saddle:

● George Hincapie (BMC) S114

● Bernhard Eisel (SKY) S131

● Koen de Kort (Argos) S157

● Joan Horrach (KAT) S167

● Jonathan Cantwell (SAXO) S191

Your Favoured Team:

● Movistar

—————————————————————————-

Punter P

● Fusao

Your Star Rider:

● Thomas Voeckler (Europcar) S15 FRA

Your Dark Horse:

● Frank Schleck (RNT) S25

Your Trusty Lieutenants:

● Grega Bole (Lampre) S53

● Gorka Verdugo (EUSK) S75

Your Warriors in the Saddle:

● Johan Vansummeren (GAR)S94

● Greg Henderson (Lotto) S134

● Gustav larsson (Vacansoleil) S140

● Julien Fouchard S152 (COF) FRA

● Simone Stortoni (Lampre) S171

Your Favoured Team:

● AG2R La Mondiale

—————————————————————————-

Punter Q

● John B

Your Star Rider:

● Fabian Cancellara (RNT)  S13

Your Dark Horse:

● Ivan Basso (Liquigas) S27

Your Trusty Lieutenants:

● Alexander Vinokourov (Astana) S50

● Sebastien Minard (AG2R) S70 FRA

Your Warriors in the Saddle:

● Simon Gerrans (ORI-GRE) S111

● Manuel Quinziato (BMC) S146

● Federico Canuti (Liquigas) S175

Your Favoured Team:

● Liquigas Cannondale

—————————————————————————-

Punter R

● Steve A

Your Star Rider:

● Peter Sagan (Liquigas) S22

Your Dark Horse:

● Tony Martin (Omega) S29

Your Trusty Lieutenants:

● Vincent Jerome (Europcar) S62 FRA

● Sylwester Szmyd (Liquigas) S80

Your Warriors in the Saddle:

● Haimar Zubeldia (RNT) S107

● Cyril Lemoine (Saur) S136 FRA

● Andrey Kashechkin (Astana) S159

Your Favoured Team:

● Team Sky

—————————————————————————-

Punter S

● Jack H

Your Star Rider:

● Alejandro Valverde (Movistar) S10

Your Dark Horse:

● Bauke Mollema S33

Your Trusty Lieutenants:

● Yuri Trofimov (KAT) S66

● Lieuwe Westra (Vacansoleil) S84

Your Warriors in the Saddle:

● Brice Feillu (Saur) S100 FRA

● Nick Nuyens (SAXO) S135

● Johannes Frohlinger (ARGOS) S155

● Eduard Vorganov (KAT) S178

● Kris Boeckmans (Vacansoleil) S194

Your Favoured Team:

● Euskaltel Euskadi

—————————————————————————-

Punter T

● Paris B

Your Star Rider:

● Mark Cavendish (SKY) S7

Your Dark Horse:

● Sylvain Chavanel (Omega) S44

Your Trusty Lieutenants:

● Jeremy Roy (FDJ) S52 FRA

● Karsten Kroon (SAXO) S90

Your Warriors in the Saddle:

● Matthieu Sprick (ARGOS) S92

● Cedric Pinneau (FDJ) S122 FRA

● Martin Velits (Omega) S138

● Dominik Nerz (Liquigas) S176

● Michael Morkov (SAXO) S192

Your Favoured Team:

● Cofidis le credit en ligne

—————————————————————————-

Punter U

● Aaron C

Your Star Rider:

● Matt Goss (ORI-GRE) S8

Your Dark Horse:

● Nicki Sorensen (SAXO) S45

Your Trusty Lieutenants:

● Danilo Hondo (Lampre) S65

● Maxime Monfort (RNT) S89

Your Warriors in the Saddle:

● Fabrice Jeandesboz (Saur) S129 FRA

● Marcel Sieberg (Lotto) S180

● Julien Simon (Saur) S188 FRA

Your Favoured Team:

● Lotto Belisol

—————————————————————————-

Punter V

● Paul W

Your Star Rider:

● Vincenzo Nibali (Liquigas) S3

Your Dark Horse:

● Sandy Casar (FDJ) S42 FRA

Your Trusty Lieutenants:

● Amael Moinard (BMC) S72 FRA

● Chris Anker Sorensen (SAXO) S108

Your Warriors in the Saddle:

● Albert Timmer (ARGOS) S123

● Luis Angel Mate (COF) S154

● Vasil Kiryienka (Movistar) S183

Your Favoured Team:

● Orica GreenEdge

—————————————————————————-

Le Tour de Agonie continues; Wiggo, Boonen and Pauriol out; Another prize for Le Charloi R July 9, 2011

Posted by atomicsaddles2011 in Tour De France 2011.
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Bonjour mes amis de culottes-lycre et vélocimanies dypsomaniaques! Alas and quel dommage! Wiggo is finit.

Yikes, those sentences just sent my spellchecker into apoplectic rage. Damn thing hasn’t got a poetic Francophone bone in its binary body. But enough of this drivel, Saddles. On with the other, cycling drivel…

Bradley Wiggins (Takako R), the British road race and time trial champion, is out of the Tour de France 2011, after crashing 38km from the finish in yesterday’s stage from Le Mans to Chateauroux. The Grauniad takes up the unfortunate tale: “After the ecstasy of Thursday’s stage win in Lisieux, the road to Chateauroux ended in agony for Team Sky, when their leader, Bradley Wiggins, was forced to abandon the Tour de France after a crash 38km from the finish left him with a broken collarbone. The disaster for Team Sky came almost exactly 24 hours after their Norwegian starlet Edvald Boasson Hagen had opened the squad’s account in the Tour. The stage finished with Mark Cavendish sprinting to his second victory of this year’s Tour. After being told of Wiggins’s withdrawal, Cavendish looked shocked and said: “I’m gutted for him, he was probably in the best form of his life.”Wiggins, the triple Olympic gold medallist, had come to the race hoping to match or improve on his fourth place of 2009. He had ridden a flawless race for the first six stages, and was lying sixth overall, just 10 sec behind the yellow jersey Thor Hushovd but his luck deserted him less than 25 miles from the end of a relatively innocuous flat stage”.

Wiggo in happier days. Atomic Saddles had him tipped for a podium finish this year, maybe even the MJ.

“He was left lying motionless in the road after a large pile-up involving some 25 riders in the heart of the bunch on a straight section of road as the field gathered speed for the day’s intermediate sprint. Wiggins was the last of the fallers to get up, and when he did so he was clutching his left arm and shoulder, a classic sign that a rider has broken a collarbone or wrist, the two most common injuries when riders fall off. Richard Freeman, the Team Sky doctor, was soon on the spot to inspect the injuries, paying particular attention to Wiggins’s shoulder. At first Wiggins appeared to be attempting to get back on his bike to finish the stage but then he climbed into the race ambulance. “It’s over guys, it’s over for Bradley, he’s got a broken collarbone we think,” said the Sky directeur sportif, Sean Yates, over the team’s internal radio, confirming that Wiggins’s Tour was over. He was taken to hospital in Chateauroux”.

ITV continueth: “I couldn’t get up off the floor for love nor money,” a visibly groggy Wiggins said after emerging bandaged from hospital. “That’s bike racing, these stages are part of the Tour de France,” Wiggins continued. “That’s the risk you take as bike riders – it’s unfortunate but life goes on.”

Goeth on it does. Mark Cavendish bagged his 17th stage victory in the TdF yesterday, a remarkable achievement. Saddles finds himself in the unusual position of feeling positive towards the Sprout. From Cyclenews: “Told the news about Wiggins’s misfortune, Cavendish was clearly shocked. “I didn’t know that he’d crashed out,” he said. “Where did that happen? I’m gutted for him. He is in the best form of his life and we could have brought home the sprints and yellow jersey to Britain.”It’s been particularly nervous this year – lots of riding on very small roads. And it’s not normal to be fighting guys like Fränk Schleck for position with 4km to go like I was today. It’s been really dangerous, but you just have to adapt to it.”

The crash that ended Wiggins’s Tour also saw FDJ’s Rémi Pauriol (Yui A) forced out with a suspected broken collarbone, while RadioShack’s run of bad luck continued. Chris Horner (Sasha A) fell heavily, and remained on the ground, momentarily unconscious. This from Bicycling: “After the medics and his team reached him, he stood up and resolved to finish the day, eventually remounting his bike to ride in for last place, 12:41 behind Cavendish. After crossing the line, a RadioShack soigneur rushed the visibly dazed Horner to the team bus where they waited for an ambulance. Riding steady but with facial contusions, the American repeatedly asked the assistant what had happened and how far back he’d finished. As Horner (pictured here) sat down and was loaded onto a stretcher—still questioning if he’d crashed—RadioShack director Johan Bruyneel explained that Horner demanded to finish the race, and after a medical check and careful observation, the racer was cautiously allowed to finish the day”. It is uncertain whether he will start today’s stage.

We now know Horner suffered concussion and a broken nose.

His teammate Levi Leipheimer (Robert S) went down for the second day in a row and then punctured with just 7km remaining. The in-form Californian managed to finish in the 80-strong group that came home 3:06 down, but his Maillot jaune aspirations are sadly over.

Atomic Saddles is looking forward to today’s (hopefully crash free) 190km Stage 8 from Aigurande to Super Besse-Sancy. We may expect the Hammer of the North to relinquish his hold on the yellow jersey, as the stage is just a wee bit too hilly for the hefty Norwegian powerhouse, the cat 2 Col de Croix Saint-Robert providing a stiff test prior to the final climb up to the ski resort of Super-Besse.

I wouldn’t be surprised if Team Leopard-Trek stick le boot in today in the Massif Central, looking for chinks in Contador and Evans’ armour. Former Ozzie rouleur Matt White somewhat cryptically predicts: “Climbers in GC voids are no longer just surviving but dishing it out. It’s only the Massif Central but this should be Contador’s first stage win.”

GC voids? Er, right, cool. Allez les voids! we say.

Au’voir mes amis. More later. AS

Blabbermouth wins as Jani Brajkovic crashes out; a brave and bloodied Tom Boonen survives; Everyone crashes; Petit Charlie R bags le Booty July 7, 2011

Posted by atomicsaddles2011 in Tour De France 2011.
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What a magnificent performance! A tour de force by the most beloved member of the British cycling fraternity, the man without whom Le Grand Boucle would be a mere procession of lycra-clad geezers on pushbikes. Vive the pride d’Angleterre! Bravo…

… Monsieur Phil Ligget.

The legendary TdF race commentator thrilled the good listeners of ITV yesterday with a spectacular array of wit, wisdom and the most mixed-metaphoric hyperbole since the Prince of Denmark (Is that Sorensen or Fuglsang? – Ed) took arms against a sea of troubles and by opposing ended them. The Liggetisms came thick and fast as the massed bunch pushed towards the finish line in Cap Frehel. As legs on fire danced on the pedals, we were gifted such gems as ‘the Maillot Jaune is gritting its teeth’ and, somewhat alarmingly, ‘the missile from the Isle of Man has locked on to Tony Martin’. I thought we are friends with Germany now? Nice one Liggo.

Oh, and Mark Cavendish won, btw. It was a brilliant performance by The Sprout who, lest we forget, is a spectacularly talented cyclist, arguably the finest sprinter since the legendary Eric Zabel (who now coaches ole blabberchops). Cavendish timed his killer punch to perfection, this time striking solo without his lead-out train, though to be fair the HTC-High Road boys had done their job forcing a frenetic pace to string out the Peleton. Edvald Boasson Hagen tried a flier, his phenomenal surge was too early, and the Manx missile took the spoils. ‘Magnanimous in victory’ isn’t a phrase you normally associate with Monsieur Cavendeesh, and as usual he took the opportunity to whinge to anyone who would listen during his victor’s interview. His ‘the stewards are all out to get me’ line is beginning to grate. And they aren’t, by the way. Witness Tom Boonen and Jose Joaquin Rojas’s quite correct demotion for impeding Cavendish in the intermediate sprint (Poor Jose was presented with the Green Jersey, only to have it unceremoniously unpresented a brief while later. See the full story here). If only the Unstoppable Insufferable Mr C would just, as Phil Leggit might say, let his legs do the talking.

Alberto Contaor’s mum, Gladys, will not be pleased with the way he takes care of her specially knitted race jerseys.

The official medical communique of Wednesday’s sixth stage at the Tour de France only lists eight names, but it seemed that everybody and his chien had a go at crashing yesterday. As race organisers are always looking at ways to make the Tour ‘more exciting’, Atomic Saddles suggests the implementation of a new jersey and award – the Maillot Buster Keaton/Prix Catastrophique.  This will be awarded to riders who crash most, and in the most spectacular, terrifying or amusing fashion.

Vying for the honour yesterday were a host of riders, including potential GC challengers Chris Horner, Levi Leipheimer, Sylvain Chavanel, Robert Gesink, Bradley Wiggins and Contador (twice). Chief contenders however were Tommy Boonen and Jani Brajkovic.

This, on Tommy B, from Cycling News: The most prolonged drama from today’s crashes was the painful chase of the peloton by Quickstep’s Tom Boonen, who went down with most of his team 60km from the finish line. Boonen was said to have crashed on his head, causing him to sit on the road for several minutes as he was suffering from dizziness while also clutching his right shoulder. He eventually got back up on his bike and continued but was in pain. While Gert Steegmans, who also fell, chased on up ahead, Boonen was left alone, his jersey torn and blood oozing from his hip as he chased for some 20km before Addy Engels was sent back to help him make the time cut. “I just rejoined the group after picking up some water bottles and then I was among those who crashed. I continued and through my earpiece I heard that they wanted me to wait as Tom was far behind on his own. We didn’t talk a lot. He said he was in a lot of pain and having troubles standing on the pedals. It was still 50km to go. The two of us rode for about forty kilometres,” Engels said. The duo had to ride as fast as possible in order to finish within the allowed time cut of 18 minutes. Eventually they came in just over 13 minutes behind winner Mark Cavendish.”In the road book these stages are marked out as easy stages so you can’t afford to lose much time. We rode full gas to make it to the finish line before the time cut. Eventually we had a good margin but the finale could have been even tougher or more windy and then we would lose much more time,” Engels said. When arriving at the finish line Boonen clearly had dug deep to continue the race and he immediately entered the team bus without saying a word.

Did you hear that Cavendish? ‘Without saying a word’. Let’s hope he gets some good painkillers (nasal administration preferred) and is back in the race today.

Jani Brajkovic, one of Radioshack’s ‘Four Musketeers’ fared even worse. “I don’t remember anything of the crash,” Brajkovic said. “I remember the moment I was about to crash and then the next thing I remember was our team doctor asking me if I thought I could continue. But I wasn’t aware of where I was and which race I was in. Nothing. So it was clear that I had to go to the hospital.” Monsieur B suffered not only that pretty spectacular concussion – couldn’t remember the name of the race?!! – and a broken collarbone. Thus the Musketeers are down to three. Get well soon Jani, and see you next year.

FYI, Atomic Saddles would like to volunteer himself for the Prix Catastrophique selection jury, citing extensive international experience and expertise in the field:

1. Amsterdam, The Netherlands (road-rash/bring down fellow riders/team-mates opprobrium)

2. Nijmegen, The Netherlands (road-rash/bring down fellow riders/posterior laceration/expulsion from team social events)

3. Bradford, UK (concussion/ambulance ride/day off school/parental opprobrium)

4. Durham, UK (self-induced forward somersault with 9.8 degree of difficulty in front of potential girlfriend, witnessed by peers/cancelled date/6 months spadework out the window/peer mirth [still continuing 3 decades later])

5. Cambridge, UK (river immersion/bi-gonadal bruising/hangover)

6. Tokyo, Japan (sprained wrist/stretched tendons/ruined Leica)

7. Kiryu, Japan (public humiliation in front of McDonald’s full of schoolgirls/psychological scarring)

8. Mt Hiei, Japan (high-speed downhill arborial face-plant/facial bruising, scars/peer amusement -yes Mr W, that is you)

9. Kyoto, Japan (ambulance ride/cracked ribs/6 stitches to head/ barbed-wire lacerations, puncture wounds/blood spray of attendant doctor, nurses/spousal opprobrium [unspoken; merited])

10. Negombo, Sri Lanka (testicular crossbar impaction/mono-gonadal contusion/world yodeling record [unofficial]).

Today’s stage is a long one (this year’s longest), a 226km haul from Dinan to Lisieux, France’s most revered pilgrimage site after Lourdes, and birthplace of Carmelite nun and avid cycliste (pictured below), Saint Therese of the Child Jesus and Holy Face. The local cycling club, S.T.O.T.C.J.A.H.F.C.C is named after her. Philippe Gilbert is perhaps the pre-race favourite, but watch out for the puncheurs like wee Tommy Voeckler. The Europcar rider was absolutely wonderful yesterday, attacking off the front of the Peleton (with Jeremy Roy), and even attacking again with 3km to go when it was certain that he would be caught by the bunch. No wonder he is so popular. Go Tommy Go!

Saint Therese (Is this right? – Ed)